Home Again

So, I thought I had left you behind, and I was sorry, but when I returned, I realized it was I who had been left. We grow in different directions, yet you all do it together while I must do it alone. It was odd coming back, like watching someone else care for something that once was mine, that once I loved. It was growing, changing one good way after another, and I had missed it. I had missed those changes. It was becoming better yet farther from me. I had selfishly expected it to return to me, but instead had to face the truth that though I may belong to it, it does not belong to me. It may refuse to accept me in its arms agin, if it so wish. It doesn't need me to be what it is, but it is an inseparable part of me.

To what I had wanted to return was a memory of days gone by, a mirage of your former self. I had foolishly assumed that nothing had changed, but in such a short time apart, we had become strangers. What should have been a comfortable slip into familiarity had become an awkward dance of reacquaintance. But, proving it's inevitability, our relationship became clear again.

It is the feel of my favorite worn pair of sneakers. The familiarity of late night drives to clear the mind, empty back roads. It is the comfort of my favorite food and my favorite place. It is the knowledge of when, where, and who I am. It's is my get-a-way, my haven. It was all these things I had forgotten, that I had taken for granted. It is home and I had missed you.